Kommentare

Kommentar von Alcanarias

I was made to love you.

Kommentar von Tarumuat

Looks like our beloved General Marcus Jonathan again went to find some more... somewhat unique romantic adventures.

Anyways, you can read the prequels here:

Ein schlüpfriger Romantikschmöker
Ein schlüpfriger Romantikschmöker: Verbotene Liebe
Ein schlüpfriger Romantikschmöker: Nördliche Enthüllung
Ein schlüpfriger Romantikschmöker: Blaue Stunden
Ein schlüpfriger Romantikschmöker: Dicke Messingdinger

Looks like I missed the Ein schlüpfriger Romantikschmöker: Heiß und Feucht which is in MoP as well.

Kommentar von ShakeNBake

"heavily smudged with oil"

I can only imagine...

Kommentar von Deathbang

Those aren't oil stains. They're tear stains. Tears from that poor robot whose heart you broke and killed.

Kommentar von ontera

Between pandas, personified hate (sha), and island that's really a giant turtle, my warchief dying, martial arts experts, Pokemon battles, and so many more things, this is what I've been waiting for in the next expansion.

Kommentar von Drahken

This was written by Philip J Fry. Or maybe Lucy Liu.

Kommentar von Sincerity

{Took a shot at writing this. Hope you guys enjoy.}

---<Page 1>---

The armor clinked as Marcus worked his way over the salty wood of Booty Bay, he had a temporary leave, and he had planned to relax on the beach. The pirates had another idea though. Weary and tired, he knew he had to get to a bed, and let his body recover. The Salty Sailor tavern was the only comfortable bed until Duskwood, and that was completely out of the question.

As the weary warrior of the Alliance entered, Skindle, the shrewdest and dirtiest goblin innkeeper opened his mouth and said, "Wells there, it looks like tha big bad Marcus could use a room: I still haven't forgotten last time yous was here, Marcus! Yous want a room, than yous needs to pay, 50 coins, or get out!"

Marcus didn't see he had much of a choice. He shuffled through his leather pouch, and all the goblins in the room had to struggle to keep their ears from wiggling in joy. Dropping the 50 gold wasn't easy for Marcus, but the joke was on Skindle, Marcus had grabbed that from the fallen pirates before he stumbled towards Booty Bay.

---<Page 2>---

Marcus dropped twenty silver on the bartop while he walked past Nixxrax, and the goblin dropped a jug of bourbon for Marcus to carry up to his room. Stumbling up the stairs as a large wave struck the town, he hit the side of the wall, opening a cut, making his already bloody armor more tarnished from combat. Passing by Catelyn earned him a wink and a wiggle of her waist, "Hi Marcus, you are looking worse for the wear, want a bit of... First aid?"

Marcus was a little too hurt for that, he stumbled by her, across the rope-wooden bridge, he came to a stop at his room, and he collapsed on his bed. His weary body just didn't have it in him to sleep though, the pain was a bit too much. Taking more than his share, the bourbon, his eyes finally collapsed, taking him into sleep.

His dreams were silent and black, the pain numbed by bourbon just didn't allow for dreaming. When he woke, however, there was a goblin standing next to his bed. His armor had been removed, and it was laying next to him. The bandages were antiseptic soaked, and he felt much better.

---<Page 3>---

She was beautiful for a goblin, her skin was a healthy and bright shade of green. She had a smile that actually seemed warm, for once, and her eyes had this curious twinkle that shined deep within her orbs. Her voice was light when she spoke, and she said, "Hi, I'm Nexty!" There was a curious sound to her voice, strange.

"I'm Marcus," he said with that famous smile. She actually seemed unaffected by it. Whether or not that drove Marcus on or not wasn't even on his mind. But that smile, that seemed to melt so many women into a puddle of goo didn't work on her. "I fixed yous right up!" She touched the wounds, "I wanted to let yous know that." Her small form turned towards the door, and took two strides.

"Wait!" Marcus said, "There are so few goblin women here," she turned, "It's rare that I see one in Booty Bay, let me buy you a drink, Nexty." He stretched up, shuffling through his bag and finding a shirt. The few drinks went by quickly, and with his head swimming he looked to her, she seemed unaffected. Guiding her upstairs with him, she seemed warm to the idea now...

---<Page 4 - 829>---

<The better part of the book seems to be stuck together, however the last page is readable.>

---<Last Page>---

Oglethorpe burst into the room, the curious gnome's goggles were gleaming in the candle light, "N.e.X. TY 5000! I was wondering where you were!" The squeaky voice grated Marcus' nerves, especially after such a wonderful week spent with the beautiful Nexty, so much so he didn't even register what Oglethorpe said.

"Nothing, creator, Marcus was showing me what it was like to be alive, I found the experience enjoyable." Oglethorpe's brows narrowed, "Well N.e.X. TY 5000 Blixrez Goodstitch and his brother are looking for you! They paid me to make you for them, not to let you run around with a human!" Nexty as Marcus came to know her turned from him, following her creator, "I enjoyed your company, Marcus." Marcus whose head was swimming from this wonderful week realized, he had loved a robot.

Kommentar von tuctuc

That better be oil. That better be oil . That better be oil.

On a side note I guess we know what jeeves's pressing matters are.

Kommentar von GoHF

Contained in Blingtron-4000-Geschenkpaket.

Kommentar von 940869

ew.

Kommentar von ZJPV1

This may also be a reference to the song "The Girl and the Robot", by Norwegian electronic band Röyksopp, which features vocals by the Swedish pop singer Robyn.

"I go mental every time you leave for work
Never seem to know when to stop
I never know when you'll return
I'm in love with a robot."

The song's about a workoholic, but still. Same words and such.

Kommentar von Dracconus

Mildly inappropriate sarcastic backstory:
One night after a hardcore party thanks to Party-G.R.A.N.A.T.E., while reading Ein schlüpfriger Romantikschmöker: Verliebt in einen Roboter and drinking Sonnengeküsster Wein the Toter Feuergeist washed over the user and caused them to use the Öliger Handschuh that made these pages become illegible.

*Side note* This is a joke, not the actual backstory, and i made it as tactful as I possibly could while still providing laughs to the individuals that paid enough attention to notice that these are ALL items looted from Blingtron-4000-Geschenkpaket.

Kommentar von clarkeyboy

Ok I admit, the oil thing took me a few moments. Well played Blizzard... well played...

Kommentar von Gandar54

Pretty sure this item is a reference to the song "The Girl and the Robot" by Royksopp. The song itself includes the lyrics "I'm in love with a robot" multiple times.

Kommentar von 452896

Since I'm someone who incessantly draws androids and their robotic brethren, my significant other just about peed himself laughing when I linked him what I'd managed to pick up in my gift pack.

Kommentar von Barhah

Gross. The day before getting this I was so excited to have gotten my very own oily glove, now I can't wait to get rid of it.

/shudder

Kommentar von CableSummers

Someone at Blizzard is a Royksopp fan, apparently.

Kommentar von Smallfoot

I think Bronjahm wrote a song about this....

Kommentar von imperatorvult

Alternate title: "Fifty Grades of Motor Oil".

Kommentar von Myzvale

"The pages are too heavily smudged with oil to read."

Oh dear, I hope that's oil...

Kommentar von Stormstout812

Finding this along with the Öliger Handschuh only raised more questions...

Kommentar von Sagentine

Professor Farnsworth would not approve.

Kommentar von 1113515

Oh dear....why Blingtron, why'd you do that with Marcus....

Kommentar von Ovahealz

Blingtron, you dirty robot.

Kommentar von unholydriver

Yes. "Oil."

Kommentar von xconigmax

Here's a list of all the currently available Steamy Romance Novels in order of release:

A Steamy Romance Novel
A Steamy Romance Novel: Forbidden Love
A Steamy Romance Novel: Northern Exposure
A Steamy Romance Novel: Blue Moon
A Steamy Romance Novel: Big Brass Bombs
A Steamy Romance Novel: Hot and Misty
A Steamy Romance Novel: I'm In Love With a Robot
A Steamy Romance Novel: Savage Passions

You're welcome.

Kommentar von DaggersEdge

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Ein schlüpfriger Romantikschmöker: Verliebt in einen Roboter

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Ein schlüpfriger Romantikschmöker: Verliebt in einen Roboter

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