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Kommentar von Bigoz

Cake or Death?

Kommentar von shockwaver

Do you have a flaaaag?

Kommentar von 106989

Aaah! I'm covered in beeeeees!

Kommentar von 42102

For those not spotting the reference, see Eddie Izzard, world renowned stand-up comedian: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Izzard

Kommentar von 140039

Henry the Eighth, who was Sean Connery for this film;

"Well then I will set up a new religion in this country! I will call it.. the religion.. the psychotic bastard religion!"
and then an advicer said:
"Why not call it Church of England, sir?"
"Church of England, that's much better. Eventhough I am Scottish myself."

Kommentar von 106989

Izzard about taxidermists and how they could make their job more challening:

"Your dog's finished, I filled him with porridge!"
"It's a bit floppy."
"Yeah, that's porridge for you.
"You've got a two-level effect."
"...That's got a nine-level effect."

"I've done your cat - he's with helium."
"It's a bit high up."
"That's helium for you. There's no height restriction. Do you want it here?"

Woosh.

Pah.

"In fact, grab hold, I've got two controls."
"What? Oh, right, I see. Er."

There's a cat going whoo, whoo.
With that fixed expression.

Kommentar von 140039

If you've never seen an elephant ski then you've never been on acid.

Kommentar von Aranyszin

Eww... it's all sticky. It's covered in jam.

Kommentar von Geno

Two quotes, Found on the Dressed to Kill DVD

"And they built Stonehenge, one of the biggest henges in the world! No one's built a henge like that ever since! No one knows what the (F-word) a henge is..."

(Referencing how certain countries pronounce words)

"You say 'Erbs', and we say 'herbs', because there's a (F-ing) 'h' in it!"

If you've never seen Eddie Izzard, I would highly recommend it. His humor has a few explicit words (Okay, a lot of them), but it's very interesting. Although, if you are very upset at religious jokes, some you may not like... But he is quite an act. :)

Kommentar von 232652

“Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of the sex: "Girls girls, ooo". Naturally you want to look your best, and God says "No! You will look the worst you've ever looked in your life!"

Kommentar von 140039

About religion:
"Thank you for flying Church of England, cake or death?"

About puberty:
"I had to -chat up- girls and I had only tagged them before and I didn't have the verbal power to go 'Susan I saw you in the class room today.. as the sun came out from behind the clounds in a burst of brilliant light caught your hair, it was haloed infornt of me, you turned your eyes flashfire into my soul I immidiately read the words of Dostojevskij and Carl Marx and in the words of Albert Schweitzer; I fancy you.

Kommentar von 359445

DEATH BY TRAY IT SHALL BE

Kommentar von Quacker502

I thought it's Bliz'zard

Kommentar von imanbushara

"There's two positions in snowboarding. One is looking cool and the other is DEAD!"

Kommentar von dryzdale

'Policeman: Is this your car sir?
Cow: Moo
Policeman: Do you realize how fast you were going?
Cow: Moo
Raptor: Yagh
Policeman: Is this your friend?
Raptor: haha ye
Cow: Moo
Policeman: *over radio* Err sarge, I think there a raptor and a cow in a car, get everything here.
Seargant: *over radio* 'What do you mean everything'?
Policeman: *over radio* I mean EVERYTHING!
Cow: Moo
Policeman: Do you realize how fast you were going?
Cow: Moo
Policeman: You were doing 3 MPH
Cow: Moo? *Revs engine and pulls away*
Policeman: He's going faster now'

Iz'zard

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